What Could Have Been.

I love this time of year. You can feel the excitement in the air and the decorations make you feel like home where ever you are. If I could put our Christmas decorations up November 1st I totally would. I don't, because I don't think Jeff would appreciate it much haha.

Two years ago...... Jeff was at work, so I decided to take Jackson out Christmas Shopping. We had a great night. Jackson loved seeing all the Christmas stuff at the store and we enjoyed going out to dinner together. I was was feeling a little off that night, but I tried to enjoy the night with Jackson. Later that night I had a miscarriage. I had no idea I was 9 weeks pregnant. I was in complete shock and felt instant grief. 

The days went on and I tried to figure out why I was feeling so much grief from a pregnancy I didn't know about. The world was normal around me and I was grieving over something all by myself. It finally hit me. I was grieving over the what could have been. The chubby baby fingers, the late nights, the love Jeff and I share with our kids. I already had a love for something that wasn't going to be with me ever. 

I opened up to only a couple of people about it. Mainly because if I talk about it, I cry.  I don't know why we feel so ashamed to share miscarriages. It helped me to know that a lot of the women I know in my life went through the same thing. It was like I was apart of some secret club now. I found great comfort when I would open up to someone and they knew exactly how I felt. I am not really sure why I am writing this. I have had a feeling to share it here for a few weeks and kept putting it aside. Maybe someone needs to hear it, or maybe I just needed people to know of my what could have been.

Jackson The Soccer Player.

We decided to put Jackson in Soccer this year. He loves to be social and just needs some help in listening. Today was the first day of practice. He had a great time, but was a little tired from the lack of a nap. so he didn't last long. 

The perk is, he fell asleep by 7 tonight. Whoop whoop! this might be worth it.

Jackson turns 3!

On August 25th Jackson turned three! Where has the time gone!?!?!

We kept his birthday small. We had our close friends over for dinner and just sung Happy Birthday and had some cake.

 We decorated the house with Thomas the Train. 

The day of his birthday Jackson and Daddy went out to lunch and to see a movie. Jackson loves the big T.B. (T.V.)

Later that week Shama (Grandma Miller) took him out to lunch and to the store to pick a toy. He loved every minute of it and still talks about it to this day.

Jackson loves Trains, Minions,Trucks and Mickey Mouse. He can say all his letters of the alphabet and count to 12. He loves to be silly and is very social with anyone that will give him attention. 

The past three years have been amazing. Can not wait to see what the next year brings. 

Happy Birthday Buddy!

Gavin Three Months.

Dear Gavin,

We are finally getting the hang of being parents of you and your brother. Jackson loves to talk to you about trains and can not wait for you to be old enough to play with him.

This month you started to consistently sleep through the night, Mom loves it! You eat every two hours to do that, but we will take it.

You love to fall asleep on mom and shove you face in her armpit. It is adorable and weird at the same time.

You love to play with your toys and tell them stories.

You watch everything Jackson is doing.

You can roll from your belly to your back.

Your starting to giggle.

You love to play peek-a-boo.

We love you so much buddy, can't wait to see what next month brings.

Love,

Dad and Mom

Gavin Two months.

Dear Gavin,

The time has just flown by. You have brought so much joy to our family. You fit right in and we can not even remember life before you. You have made us complete.

This month you have started noticing your toys and all the kids around you.

You hate your swing. Mom is happy about that because it is huge and takes up a lot of space.

You discovered your hands and love to chew on them.

You love to be held all the time. Mom is a sucker for it and gives in.

You are one adorable little baby. We love you so much little Gav Gav.

Love,
Dad and Mom

Gavins Blessing

Sunday August 2nd we had Gavin's Blessing. We wanted to keep it small and had just my siblings there. It was a perfect relaxing day. Jeff gave a beautiful blessing and Gavin slept through the whole thing. After everyone came to our house for lunch and just enjoyed each others company.

 I was going to have Gavin wear the same outfit that Jackson wore for his blessing until I realized that it will still be super hot so Gavin couldn't wear a sweater. (Jackson was blessed in October). So I spent my nights nursing searching pinterest and fell in love with some vintage shorts. Thanks to my mom she recreated the look for me. I was in love with his outfit!

She also made a matching Bow tie for Jackson

The Miller family has a tradition that every baby gets blessed with the miller ring. I love this tradition and it is also fun to know I wore the same ring during my blessing. So many babies have been apart of this tradition.

Minions

Jackson has two obsessions right now. Trains and Minions. We have watched Despicable Me one and two so many times, I can even recite the movie.

Build a Bear has some minions you can build. We took Jackson to build one. He was excited to pick out Stewart the minion, but was terrified by the rest of the process. It was worth it though. He has me tuck Stewart in with him every night with his special blankie.

We also got a sitter for Gavin (Thanks Aunt Rachel!) and took Jackson to his first movie at a movie theatre to see Minions. He was so excited to get some soda and popcorn, but was not so excited to go into the movie. After Dad got him calmed down he came right in.

He did great during the Minion Movie but was very sad it was over. I think he could have sat there all day. He still asks us if we can take him to the big T.B. (t.v) without his baby brother. I think he enjoyed the alone time.

Bye Bye Bobbie.

Jackson loves his Bobbie aka his pacifier. He had it with him all the time. Most of the pictures I have of him he has his bobbie hanging out of his mouth. We were going to let him keep it until he turned 3, but one day he was talking about getting rid of it for a toy. I ran with the idea. Anything to not have to get up in the middle of the night and find bobbie!

We gathered up all his Bobbies put it in a ziplock and headed to target. We sat in front of the Trash can at target and talked about throwing it away and getting a Mickey Train he has been wanting for months. He gladly grabbed the bag from me and tossed it in the trash. He also said Goodbye to his bobbies as we pulled out of the parking lot. I thought man that was way to easy. Well that night he realized what he did and told me he no longer wants his Mickey Train. I felt so bad, but was not turning back now. It took him only three nights and he was fine. A week after all of this he woke up on trash day excited. He yelled MOM THE TRASH GUY IS BRINGING BACK MY BOBBIES TODAY! I told him they were never coming back told him he can have a carmel (his favorite) and he has been a big boy ever since!

Gavin One Month

Dear Gavin,

You are one month old!

You are something I never thought we would have. You are a answer to our prayers. This last month of cuddles and smelling your hair has been the best days we have had in awhile.

Your mom woke up the morning of the 26th scared and nervous. Hoping your first day will be easy for you and easy for me. You came into this world with a short cry then after were so calm and content. I think you knew I needed that.

The joy and happiness you have brought us can never be put into words. You have made Jackson a big brother and he couldn't be happier. He is anxiously waiting for you to get bigger to play Trains.

You love to cuddle. You love to lay on your belly. You grunt all the time, we just laugh at how much noise you make in your sleep. You love to eat, and Mom can not resist kissing your chunky cheeks.

We Love you Gavin.

Dad and Mom

Catch Up

The DeMoss Family is back!

Life has just been a little crazy this last year. It is almost a blur. So here is a little blurb about our last year.

In September 2014 we went on a vacation to Indiana. We had a great time. Jackson loved every minute of it. We hung out with family and Jeff and I got to have a night alone without kids in Indianapolis thanks to Nana and Paps.

A couple weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I was in shock and excited that I was able to get pregnant again.

After that the year was a blur. I had horrible morning sickness and was just trying my best to survive this pregnancy being a Mom and having a Daycare. My goal this year is to blog more. I want to keep family updated and keep track of some of our memories. I am still trying to get used to being a mom of two and making sure I at least get a shower a day :) BUT These two make it all worth it.