Groundhog day.

Have you ever seen the movie Groundhog Day? I have a billion times. It is a great movie......but I feel my life has turned into that lately..

I love my " To Do" list I write one every day....but I have noticed lately I don't even need to write a new one for the day....I just need to make a million copies of the same list.

On my way to work the same music plays every morning....same commercials...I can sing all the commercials on the radio.....This drives Jeff crazy lol but I cant help it.

I have been with my job for five years this month....I still love my job and I am good at it. But lately I'm going through the same motions everyday....even feel like I am having the same conversations with people. I even see the same people in the bathroom everyday,..its like we have same the same pee schedule (sorry to share that...but it is true)

At home Jeff and I have a routine and I could tell you how our night goes...lol we are creatures of habit I guess.

Anyways the list could go on and on. Like the movie I find my self thinking....is my day repeating like this because I'm supposed to change something....or help someone?  or am I just supposed to make my white whiter....or am I supposed to smile at more people.....How do you get out of the "Groundhog Day Syndrome"?

Just being honest.

This past week I have had this thought and this feeling to blog about it....I have been ignoring that feeling all week....but it is still there nagging at me. I'm not sure if I am meant to share this to help someone else or if it is for my own growth,  so here is goes.......

I really like to plan things. I like my to do list every day because I feel like I have some control over my day. I just love to plan everything!  This may drive Jeff insane sometimes, but that is who I am. Ever since I was little I would plan and day dream about my life. I had a list in my head of what I wanted to achieve.

 1. Finish my personal progress for young women's...Check
 2. Marry my prince charming in the temple....Double Check :)
 3. Be a stay at home mom......uuuuuuuh

I just love children. I have always felt that being a stay at home mom or just a mom is my calling in life. I feel I was put here to be that. After finding out that it will be hard for this goal to happen....because of health issues on my part..... devastated me. I just have no control over this and it is very hard for me to accept.  I have been so angry, jealous and doubting my self worth..... ugh! that sounds so horrible. But it is true. These past few months have been such a inner struggle for me to get rid of all these feelings.

 I have to admit....when someone does tell me there pregnant I am very happy for them...I really am, but there is always that pain in my gut when I hear it. It brings all these emotions and wanting. Yep that would be Jealousy.

So here I am today sharing this so I can move on from it.  These past couple of years have been hard. But I feel I need to move on and live my life. I feel I have been living the past 3 years longing for a child and having a pity party for my self on something I have no control of. I'm not really living. So I set some new goals for my self this year and I am going to enjoy my life with my husband. When we are blessed with a child it will be a answer to our prayers, but until then I need to figure out what god wants me to do now on this earth.

One of my goals is to continue to love all the children that are already in my life. Try to be a better Aunt and primary teacher because they are here and they need me now. I will also try to be a better wife, friend, daughter, grand daughter and sister....because they don't deserve to be around a angry, jealous person. :) So hello world! I'm here to live!

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!
-Bob Marley

The funny things about marriage.

When two people decide to get married....they start putting all there focus on the wedding day.... to plan the big celebration of two people in love that want to spend forever together. After that wonderful day....it is about two people, with totally different personalities trying to build a life together without the instruction manual. Which is a big adventure!

Since I got married, I love talking to people that are married about marriage. For the advice and wisdom they can offer. It is very interesting how they all can be so much alike, but yet so different. It is also a lot of fun to laugh at the same things other couple are going through, that you are experiencing yourself.


For example it is comforting to know that other wives are going through these and that they are normal:

 - Cant seem to find the opening to the laundry basket syndrome.
 - "Babe can you please wait until the commercial" syndrome.


It is also very comforting to know that other husbands are going through these and that they are normal:

- leave every single pair of shoes she owns all over the house syndrome
- I will wear my dress pants with 3 creases in them because my wife claims she can iron syndrome.

Even though these sound so annoying. They make me laugh. These things make us "us" in our marriage. I just love this quote-

"Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without." ~James C. Dobson

This quote is sooooo true.....Even though sometimes I grumble about his laundry not being in the basket....I cant picture my life any other way :)......I cant live without him!..... ( Wait am I saying I cant live without the dirty laundry? WOW)

New year's with Notre Dame.

For a Christmas present I got Jeff tickets the the Sun Bowl in El Paso, Tx.  Notre Dame was going to be playing Miami. El Paso is only 4 hours from here, so it wasn't that bad of a drive.

We went up the night before. It was snowing here in Arizona, so we wanted to beat the weather. It snowed the whole way there and our car looked like this.

Freezing!

The Game was awesome! It was very cold but Notre Dame Won!!! Go Irish!

It was worth sitting in the snow...because the smile on this guys face is priceless!

Christmas in Las Vegas.

We were able to spend our Christmas vacation with Jeff's family in Vegas!

Christmas day Jeff and I drove up to Vegas to see the Las Vegas temple all decorated for Christmas.

Do you see the Christmas lights? We didn't either....we were very surprised this temple didn't decorate for Christmas. Jeff and I had a very relaxing Christmas night and were looking forward to seeing his family.

The next day his family arrived and we had such a great vacation together. We shopped, gambled, and ate lots of yummy food. This was the first time we have all been together in 4 years! Thank you Scott and Mom S. for a great vacation! We loved seeing you! We love all of you!

New Hobby.

When I was little my mom tryed so hard to teach my sister and I how to sew.....and we had no interest in it at all. Well I don't know what happened but my sister and I are now interested and learning how to sew.

 For Christmas I wanted to make something special for our friends kids. So I found a couple patterns online for FREE! Yay! With the help from my wonderful mom. We made a toddler back pack for the little boy.

And a little purse for the little girl.

I also made this pretty flower to put on the purse!

I have to say....I think they turned out adorable! My next project is a apron. Wish me luck :)

Four years!

On December 16th we celebrated our four year anniversary!

Where has the time gone? Last I remember I was 21 putting on a white dress, staring into my husbands eyes while he cried happy tears....(well at least I hoped they were happy tears....he could have been staring at me thinking. I am now with her forever and will have to forever laugh at her lame jokes. I still think my turkey joke is the best.) while we promised each other forever. We have had a great four years. We have grown together, laughed together and annoyed each other. Best of all....we are still crazy about each other.

We had a great anniversary.....every year we go to the melting pot for the full on dinner....( I tryed duck for the first time....I am not a fan.) then followed by a walk through the neighborhood called Winter Haven. The whole neighborhood decorates there houses for Christmas and it is alot of fun to walk through to see all the lights. This year we were unable to go see the lights because of rain....but we hope to see them another day.

We had a great day and are looking forward to the many more years to come!